Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have a reading level above third grade

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

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I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t buy bullshit

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

What are some common historical misconceptions?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

James Webb Space Telescope Has Spotted Something “Abnormal, Chaotic, and Strange” 60 Light-Years from Earth - The Debrief

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

What are some life hacks for living on your own?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I can read

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

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It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Are female judges more lenient than male ones?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

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I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Why am I so jealous towards couples? Why am I tired of being single and feel my life is over?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

What are 10 interesting facts about you?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I see through liars

Why would a man be interested in an ordinary woman while there are very beautiful and fabulous women?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

What happens if someone fills up their car at the pump but leaves without paying? How is this situation typically handled?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I can count

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Are there any guys, crossdressers, or transgender girls here who wear tampons?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Is there any evidence to support the existence of people who have experienced "gangstalking"? Or is it a psychological phenomenon?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I actually pay taxes

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t